A week or so ago, I saw an ad for dry-cleaning without having to leave home. Makes sense, in this context. For me it was a complete trigger.
Automated petrol stations, self service libraries, parcel lockers, self check-out in supermarkets, sports clubs without staff, grocery and meal delivery. Hotels promote a “complete contactless experience” with no physical reception desk, mobile check-in and little or no interaction with staff.
The advertised value is convenience but I feel that often what is also built into it is you do not have to interact with another person. You don’t have to call anyone, explain what you need, meet a member of staff, stand in a queue next to other people, or deal with possible awkwardness, delays or misunderstandings.
So it is not always just time and effort that the service promises to save. Often the other person has been removed from the process too.
And of course, I’m part of it, I often feel awkward explaining what I need, and feel relieved when I can avoid human interaction in such cases. But then, how can I ever get better at it?
I belong to a generation who has had to talk to people but what about the kids now? So recently I decided a few days ago, when my 12-year-old wanted me to order for her, first at the ice-cream shop, and then at a restaurant, that she has to place her order herself. She did, and that’s what we’ll keep doing. Design people and small interactions back into our lives.
Gillian Sandstrom describes several studies in her Once Upon a Strangers that tiny social interactions make us happier. Talking to close friends makes us happiest but talking to strangers is a close runner-up. Also, it has additional benefits, such as novel information, objectivity, a different value that brief encounters with no attachments carry.
When we rarely, or never, talk to strangers who are easily available for even transactional interactions, it gets harder and harder to strike up a conversation with anyone at all. But it doesn’t take much to change that. This morning at the grocery store, I paid at the self-checkout — but on my way out, I wished the assistant a good day. I think that’ s more than nothing.
💛
I have to agree, we need to talk to each other. I find so many people ( children included) avoid this contact, but avoidance I believe is damaging to our communities. The more we avoid interacting with each other, the more insulated we become and the less community we have 😢